Have you ever noticed how holiday anxiety can creep into family interactions, making everything feel more tense than festive?

Picture this: you’re heading out to see holiday lights, expecting a fun, magical evening. But halfway down the road, you realize your partner didn’t bring the thermoses of hot chocolate you prepped for everyone. An argument ensues, the baby starts crying, the older kids whine, and your partner shuts down What was supposed to be a joyful night is now filled with frustration.

Family systems theory offers a helpful perspective for navigating holiday communication. It emphasizes direct communication, healthy boundaries, and honoring individual differences while fostering family interconnection. This approach encourages recognizing intergenerational patterns and dynamics that influence how family members interact.

At Lotus Counseling Group, we hope to offer insight into how family systems theory can improve holiday communication. By understanding these dynamics, you can better handle common holiday challenges and strengthen family bonds through thoughtful planning and clear communication.

What is Family Systems Theory?

Family systems theory originated from Murray Bowen, an American psychiatrist, in the mid-1900s. The theory focuses on the concept of interconnectedness of family members, citing the importance of viewing the family system as larger than the sum of its individual members.

Dr. Bowen is responsible for furthering our knowledge of concepts such as differentiation of self, triangulation, viewing the family as an emotional unit, and the multigenerational transmission process. Through family systems theory, we see how healthy family members influence one another’s behaviors while still maintaining their own sense of individuality. 

Understanding family systems is important for holiday family communication because holidays are generally a period of both excitement and stress for the family. Knowing how to have good communication and boundaries can help holidays lean more toward joy and festivity, rather than getting stuck in indirect communication, foul moods, and inconsistent holiday planning.