Reflect on The Past Year
You can start your conversation off by reflecting on your past year together. What were the places and spaces where you really saw your relationship flourish this year? What were the areas where you can both identify something wasn’t working the way you had hoped? Use this information to empower conversations about what you want more of in The New Year, instead of focusing on the negative patterns.
Envision Positive Change
Part of using a Solution-Focused approach to your issues is identifying small, concrete steps toward positive change. Through setting specific and actionable goals, you encourage one another to achieve each shared goal through realistic standards and expectations. For example, if you share the goal to “spend more quality time together” then you need to identify what this looks like. How long are you wanting to spend together? What would you do together? Do you need to set a budget for any activities? What about hiring a babysitter? Part of envisioning positive change is setting yourself up for success through discussing the specifics.
Examples of New Year’s Goals
New Year relationship resolutions might focus on improving communication, household management, intimacy, or embracing shared hobbies. Take a look at what examples could be:
Communication Goals:
- Setting a thirty-minute weekly relational check-in for Sundays after breakfast
- Making a commitment to minimize distractions during dinner by putting phones away
- Having a list of conflict resolution strategies you and your partner commit to using during arguments, such as I-statements and reflective listening
Household Management Goals:
- Creating a family chores list which focuses on dividing chores by what each family member is best at completing
- Splitting up childcare tasks by what each partner enjoys completing most
- Identifying monthly household tasks which are often forgotten, and assigning them to each partner or family member who would like to take responsibility
Intimacy Goals:
- Putting monthly date nights on the calendar for every Thursday night
- Committing to a shared morning or evening routine together
- Making time post-intimate encounters to actually discuss what was enjoyed and what you want more of
Embracing Shared Hobbies Goals:
- Committing to learning something new together every quarter and budgeting accordingly for these activities
- Deciding that you and your partner will cook one new meal together from a new cuisine every month, assuming you both like to prepare food
- Deciding you and your partner will volunteer together at a non-profit you both care for
Recent Comments