If you’ve ever felt your shoulders tensing, jaw clenching, or heart racing during a stressful day, you’ve witnessed your nervous system in action. Our bodies are naturally wired to keep us safe, which is really awesome when you stop and think about it. When we are feeling calm and collected, we are wired to connect with others. When we are feeling stressed, we often shut down in disconnection.
Through this section, we’ll take a look into how our autonomic nervous system, specifically the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems—play a vital role in how we respond to stress. When we gain new insights into our inner workings, we can learn ways to repair, rest, and regulate for connection.
Let’s look at some simple definitions of the two main parts of the autonomic nervous system:
The sympathetic nervous system is what we typically think of when we think of our negative stress symptoms. The sympathetic nervous system is generally referred to as fight, flight, or freeze states, brought on by adrenaline and cortisol responses to stress triggers in our environment.
The parasympathetic nervous system is what balances out our bodies to rest, digest, and repair. The parasympathetic nervous system kicks in after a threat disappears and encourages our body to calm down post-threat.
It’s easy to understand how our nervous systems are wired for survival. After all, we’d want to react very quickly in the face of a real threat like a predator chasing us! The problem is that we have so many triggers to our stress and brains which are already very overwhelmed by our modern environments. Chronic activation of our stress responses can create dysregulation of our nervous system. It’s not that our nervous systems are working improperly; it’s actually that they are working well to respond to our over-stressed and highly stimulating modern lives.
I know what you’re thinking. Okay, so what then? How do I avoid activating this stress and trauma response? How can I be in rest and digest mode more than fight or flight mode? Two main tactics to try are self-regulation and co-regulation:
Examples of self-regulation:
- Using grounding skills to calm the senses
- Practicing somatic healing techniques like meditation and yoga
- Using progressive muscle relaxation to train your muscles to avoid tension patterns
- Trying breathwork to slow down breathing and activate the vagus nerve, such as the physiologic sigh
- Using any form of movement which feels satisfying for you to re-connect to your body and the world around you
- Humming to stimulate the vagus nerve
Examples of co-regulation:
- Asking your partner to hold your hand through a difficult moment
- Asking a friend for a long hug
- Engaging in sustained eye contact with a safe and trusted person
- Sharing physical space with someone who calms you
- Using a guided mediation, either in-person or through media
- Engaging in synchronous activities with others, like singing or walking together
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