We all need a balance between our individual and family needs. During the holiday, it’s important to give yourself space to honor both yourself and your family’s priorities, expectations, and needs.
Differentiation of Self
Finding healthy ways to honor your individuation is a key concept of family systems theory. You can stay calm amidst holiday stress through identifying your own holiday values and using I-statements when communicating. Knowing your own holiday values can help you make decisions individually, rather than deferring to family group-think.
Strategies for Differentiation of Self:
- Identifying and honoring your individual holiday values
- Exploring and finding ways to weave in your family’s holiday values
- Using a mindful pause to reconnect to your holiday values before making important decisions on where to spend time or money
- Having a planned emotion regulation strategy for family gatherings, such as 5 minutes of deep breathing outside the front door
- Identify patterns where you see it is hard to feel like an individual in your family, or patterns where you struggle to connect with others, and explore through journal writing to develop insights
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