The holidays are a time where triangulation in family relationships may happen more often than not. Identifying and addressing triangulation when appropriate can help you and your family build stronger and healthier relationships this holiday season.
Recognizing Triangulation
Identifying and addressing triangulation is part of managing family dynamics during the holidays. Triangulation can be high during the holidays because of the increased amount of time spent with family and the high levels of stress during the season. When you learn to recognize and address family triangles, you may see a positive shift in leveling out power dynamics and increasing positive communication in the family system.
Strategies for Addressing Triangulation:
- Decide when and where is best to address the conflict.
- Decide whether to lean in or let go. Sometimes it may be in your best interest to let other family members step in, let the two family members work it out on their own, or just generally step away from the conflict and re-focus on your own needs.
- You might want to begin setting expectations that you will not gossip about other family members.
- You can re-direct someone back to the original source of their conflict, while still supporting them. For example: “I want to support you through taking a walk together or grabbing some food, but I can’t hear any more about this conflict between you two. I think it’s important for you to address it with them instead.”
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