The New Year is already a time when many begin to reconsider life goals and what matters most to them. Use the New Year to recommit to one another and share goals for emotional intimacy. Here are some key strategies for setting New Year relationship resolutions, which we call “Setting Intentions” in Gottman Therapy:
- Use “We” instead of “I” to create a culture of togetherness and teamwork when setting emotional connection goals for shared growth.
- Setting intentions might include routine date nights that you schedule on the calendar, making time to practice daily or weekly gratitude together, or committing to using specific conflict de-escalation strategies when arguments arise.
- When setting your intentions, remember to reflect on your strengths from the past year. What worked that you want more of in the relationship? Celebrate those small wins to reinforce progress you have already made in couples’ shared growth.
- Make it a part of your setting intentions to actively learn about one another’s inner worlds. The Gottman’s refer to this intentional learning of one another’s inner worlds as love mapping. This could be as simple as making it a routine to ask about one another’s day when you arrive home for the evening.
Conclusion: Turning Towards Each Other
The power of small, intentional actions in a partnership is the ability to create a culture of emotional safety and appreciation. Making your own bids for connection and responding to your partner’s bids for connections are two achievable strategies for offering relationship support in the New Year. Our Gottman Method therapists at Lotus are excited for another round of group Gottman psycho-education for couples, which we will offer in the spring of 2025. This New Year, take time to reflect on your relationship’s bids for connection and feel free to reach out for our upcoming group for a safe space to practice these strategies.
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