Trigger Warning:
This article discusses topics related to sexual assault and violence, which may be distressing or triggering for some readers. Please take care of yourself while reading. You are welcome to pause step away, or skip this content altogether if needed. 

Here are some resources that can offer support:

• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – 24/7 confidential support from trained staff. Call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit rainn.org.

   

• NC Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA) – Provides statewide referrals and advocacy resources in North Carolina. Visit nccasa.org or call (919) 871-1015.

   

• HopeLine (North Carolina) – Free and confidential crisis and suicide prevention line. Call or text 919-231-4525 or 877-235-4525, or visit hopeline-nc.org.

You are not alone.

This April, we honor survivors through reflecting, validating, and educating during Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month 2025 (SAAPM). As a therapist who utilizes trauma-informed therapy to work with sexual assault survivors, I’ve seen firsthand the systemic damage sexual assaults have. Sexual assaults affect individuals, families, and communities; they are not just assaults on the physical body, but on relationships and psyches. It’s important to recognize that sexual assaults happen in a variety of contexts, to a diverse population of victims, in different environments, and that trauma from assaults can linger in many forms. As a systemic therapist, I also see the importance of consent education as preventing assaults which occur as a lack of understanding boundaries. 

Of course it is true that some sexual assaults happen in classic, scary fashions that we have all been coached to watch out for. The “dark alley” or stranger situations are very real and valid forms of sexual assaults. However, there are also sexual assaults which happen as a form of lacking consent or misunderstanding one another’s physical or sexual boundaries. These more invisible assaults tend to happen from people we know or within our circle of connection. Preventing these forms of assaults takes a willingness to talk directly about boundaries and consent. This blog will focus on understanding and putting consent in action.

Understanding the Landscape of Consent Today

Understanding healthy consent can feel complicated if these conversations haven’t existed in your own family system. Our understanding of consent is also ever-evolving as therapeutic professionals. There is what we understand about consent from a definition standpoint; there are also individual differences based on the cultural contexts we live in. Starting with a simple definition of healthy consent is important to helping us draw hard lines around some ambiguities from our cultural contexts, as sometimes these complexities are where assaults can occur. 

A simple definition of healthy consent in relationships is a mutual, ongoing agreement which honors both peoples’ emotional and physical safety. Consent is based on clear communication, trust, respect, and emotional attunement. Consent should never be coerced; it should always be given freely and without any pressure to submit to the other person’s expectations. This is why consent can become tricky, especially for young adults. 

Think of consent as a skill learned over time. We can continue to always learn more about consent, as it extends beyond just sexual consent. Everyday consent is found in daily life, such as asking your friend if it’s okay for you to give them a hug, coaching your child on how to be gentle with a pet, or checking in with a friend on their safety talking about a topic that is really hard to discuss. Let’s practice breaking down some myths about consent:

Myths About Consent

Myth #1: Consent only applies to sexual situations.

Consent applies to more than just sex; we often give daily consent in everyday situations. There are certain contexts where how we feel about consent is more highlighted than others, such as sexual or medical situations. In these situations, we tend to feel more vulnerable and consent feels like it matters that much more. For example, some trauma-informed doctors may explain procedures ahead of time and check-in on how you are feeling during the process. 

Myth #2: Consent is only verbal.

Consent is not just verbal, but found in our non-verbal communications as well. Turning away, lowering your voice, avoiding eye contact, and becoming physically tense are all non-verbal signs of being uncomfortable or disengaged from the other person. 

Myth #3: Consent is a one-time “yes” at the beginning.

Consent is on-going. An important factor of consent is that it is freely given and flexible to change as the interaction continues. 

Myth #4: If you’re in a relationship or married, consent is a given.

Sexual assaults also occur in relationships and marriages. In fact, sometimes people feel so much shame and confusion about these types of assaults that it makes it difficult to reach out for help or question their partner’s intentions.