June is Pride Month, a time to recognize and celebrate queer identities, champion their resilience, and support healing for the LGBTQIA+ community. Whether you are reading this blog as a member of the community yourself, or to become more curious about how to be a better ally, you can welcome June as an opportunity to hold space for Pride Month mental health and healing.
Affirming Mental Health Care for LGBTQ+ Individuals
If you are asking why there needs to be a month to recognize LGBTQ+ affirming therapy, I welcome you to embrace a curious spirit while reading this blog. Queer mental health support matters because LGBTQ+ individuals face higher rates of anxiety, depression, PTSD and minority stress due to lack of inclusive care, lack of accessibility to LGBTQ+ affirming therapy, as well as stigma and discrimination from the general public. In order for inclusive mental health care to happen, providers must be willing to affirm – not just tolerate – queer identities.
You might ask “What does affirming care even mean?” and I celebrate that question! Asking that question means that you’re curious about why care needs to be affirming to be effective. You might also exist along the spectrum of LGBT+ yourself and wonder if your current providers would qualify as being inclusive. Affirming care for LGBTQIA+ clients might look like:
- Providers using correct pronouns and being willing to correct themselves if they mis-gender a client
- Providers introducing themselves in the first session with their own pronouns to make space for clients to do the same
- Providers educating themselves on intersectionality, or the ways a client’s lived experiences and identities merge together to create obstacles or privileges
- Providers validating the client’s lived experience
- Providers being willing to acknowledge the impact of societal systems (such as religious trauma, transphobia, or family rejection) on a client’s felt sense of identity
If you have had harmful past experiences with seeking inclusive care, know that you deserve better. You deserve a provider who is willing to really see you and validate your existence. If you know someone who is LGBTQ+, you can support them in finding affirming care through helping to call or screen providers, conducting your own research, or helping them come up with a list of screening questions to ask new providers. It may also help to look for providers which offer person-centered therapy, feminist therapy, internal family systems, or narrative therapy, as these approaches all center a person’s lived experience.
The Power of Chosen Family and Community
Many folks within the LGBT community create a chosen family, especially when original family dynamics are invalidating or hostile toward their existence. Chosen families are networks of friends (labeled as family) who can provide the emotional safety and belonging denied in their early relationships and attachments. Even when families of origin are supportive, queer individuals may still choose to create a chosen family where they know people understand them on a deep and intentional level.
From an MFT perspective, secure attachment does not just form in romantic relationships. Relational healing can occur (and often does in the queer community) between friends, mentors, and community spaces. Systems theory recognizes that we heal within relationships, not in isolation. Queer community mental health is a prime example of how secure attachments form between chosen family members.
If you or someone you love is looking for queer-affirming spaces, here are some ideas of where to look:
- LGBTQIA+ support groups, especially those specific to which part of the queer spectrum is identified with
- Gender-affirming faith spaces, especially when religious trauma has occurred
- LGBT centers, where mentorship is often available
- Online inclusive and affirming communities
- Therapist led support groups or group therapy spaces
Some questions you might ask yourself as a queer person looking for inclusive places:
- What does chosen family mean to me?
- If I had invalidating experiences as a child or teen, what did I hope to experience in my friendships and relationships as an adult?
- Who can I count on as an ally?
- Where do I feel seen and heard?
- Who in my circle validates my existence and seeks to understand my complexities?
Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Resilience
If you’ve experienced invalidating moments as a queer individual, self-acceptance and resilience are likely at the cornerstone of your healing process. An inclusive and affirming therapist or counselor is likely someone you’ll want as a resource, however, you might also want to explore what self-acceptance looks like outside of the therapy room. This could include:
- Practicing the use of gentle affirmations like “I am allowed to take up space exactly as I am”
- Cultivating your social media to include LGBTQIA+ individuals you admire or allies within the social activist realm who affirm your identity
- Exploring your sense of spirituality and how it might support your identity (which may or may not include organized religion – please take care and seek therapeutic guidance if religious trauma is a part of your story)
- Somatic practices which teach you how to reclaim safety within your mind-body connection
- Setting healthy boundaries with others who are aggressive or invalidating toward you
As you begin exploring true self acceptance, you may come to new conclusions about your identity. Encourage yourself to come from a place of curiosity, with patience at the center of all you do for yourself during this time. This can be a time of great excitement, while you may also need to re-evaluate relationships and process old attachment injuries. Working with an affirming therapist can help you cultivate self-compassion, hold and process internalized shame, and heal relational trauma.
Resilience is not just about building healthy walls to protect yourself, but learning where you can soften into relationships should you need support. Resilience is also about being flexible in the strategies you use for healing. Invite yourself to feel joy, rest, and softness in the comfort of safe relationships.
Conclusion: You Are Worthy of Progress, Rest, and Celebration
Pride Month is not just a celebration of visibility; it is a recognition and validation of how far you have come into your own identity. Whether you are healing from family-of-origin rejection, becoming curious about your identity, or thriving in queer joy, you belong as a part of Pride. This month – and always – Lotus Counseling Group hopes you continue to be surrounded by people who love you loudly.
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